Charred Wings: The Aftermath
by icedragon10126
Summary: Series of random oneshot spoofs including OC Aki from my charred wings fanfic. First up: MAD TV "Can I have yo numba?"


_So, beyond the line lay a spoof of a MAD TV skit called "Can I have yo numba'?"_  
_Watch it, it's funny. Anyway, I had it in my head and I was like, "Hmm, what if Darrel hadn't asked about a boyfriend.." And then I was like, well, I need a quick oneshot.._

_So I changed the skit around a little bit since I had to exclude the "mike and Ikes" part. Also, the spelling is weird but that's the way Darrel talks, believe me. It bothers me but it's funny if you've watched the video._  
_Anyway, Aki is a character from my other fan fiction "Charred Wings," if you feel like learning more about her. :] Enjoy!_

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**"Can I have yo Numba'?"**

Aki sits in the still lighted movie theater, it's at least ten minutes until the movie starts. Renji left to get popcorn and Aki realized maybe she shouldn't have let the poor Shinigami go alone, even though she had confidence he could handle it.

"Damn!" Aki flinches, keeping her eyes forward towards the screen hoping that whoever was behind her was not talking to her. "Tch. Damn!" Aki glances back and immediately turns back around. "Oh, damn! ..Okay, okay, okay.."

The man behind her readjusts in his seat, staring at the high ponytail Aki's long brown hair was in. "Ahem. 'Scuse me, can I talk to you fo' a minute?" Aki still attempts to ignore him, what kind of behavior was this, anyway? "EXCUSE ME, CAN I TALK TO YOU FO' A MINUTE!?"

The girl sighs and turns around, "Yeah, what's up?"

"Uh, yeah, uh. My name's Darrel (Dah-Rell) it's spelled like Darrel but it's pronounced Dah-Rell. Uh, yeah. I just wanted to let you know that the back of your head is RIDICULOUS."

The poor girl couldn't tell if that was an insult or compliment, she muttered thanks anyway. "Yeah, you are welcome!" he nods his head and keeps admiring her in a creepy manner.

Aki turns back to the screen, wishing she had gone with Renji anyway, whether he needed help or not. "What's your name delicate?"

She jumps, staring at the man who was now seated to her direct right, "Aki."

"Oh, Aki! Aw damn, hold up. That's a Japanese ass name, Aki. So, um listen. Can I have yo numba'?"

"Um, no. I don't give it out.."

"Oh, okay. Okay, no, I get it. I get it, I respect that," with that he supposedly leaves, and Aki rests her head onto her hand. Seconds later, he's breathing down her neck, "So can I have it?"

"Look, I just want to watch this movie.."

"OH, okay, okay, I get it, I get it. Okay, you uh, you bein' all selective 'cause you got a PONYTAIL. RIGHT? RIGHT? You think a lotta men cant handle the REGALNESS of a UP DO, right? Right? You all like Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly. Grace Kelly."

Aki sighs irritably, she was about to go dragon on this idiot. "No, I'm not being anything because I have a ponytail."

"Oh, Aki, Aki, Aki, Aki, Girl. Aki, Aki. Don't be insecure girl. OWN that ponytail! WORK that up do!"

"Okay, I will. " she moves away a few seats down only for him to follow.

"Aw damn, you kinda sexy when you take my advice, girl, I like that. Yeah, I like that, yeah. So, uh, so listen, CA'I HAVE YO NUMBA? Could I have it? Could I have it? Could I please receive the secret code that if entered telephonically it will pass me through to you which means it will be your beautiful ass numba?"

"No, no.."

"Can I have it," he leans forward and sniffs twice, "Can I have it?" he keeps repeating forever.

"No, no.. The movies about to start.."

"Oh, oh okay, okay, that's cool, that's cool, I get it, you know. You-You all into ponderin' like cinemas and make believes and celluloids. Yeah, yeah okay, me too, me too, okay yeah, yeah, I respect that." He finally gets up to leave only to bump into Renji who had been back since Aki was forced to move a few seats down. Upon the redheads face was a scowl.

"Renji, no!"

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_I left you to imagine what Renji was about to do to poor Darrel. Haha:) Reviews welcome, flames are actually expected for this one. :P_

_I think I'ma do Jurassic Park next with everyone. I've a recent obsession with Jurassic Park. Opinions?_


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